* My main man in his infinite wisdom told me the other day that when I turn 40 he is trading me in for two 20 year olds. I thought about it for a moment then I put my fork down to stop eating the apple pie I was inhaling. Main man said 'what....did my idea cause you to lose your appetite?'. I laughed and said 'no you silly man..it's that I better start that diet now cause you turn 40 first and I think it's a FABULOUS idea'.
* I was extremely frustrated with Main man and I told him, that's it, it's OVER!!!! Main man turned to me and said 'seriously- who are we kidding with our debt and your stretch marks your not going anywhere...'. I laughed so friggen hard that the argument was over. (**please note that I have told MM constantly that he doesn't have to worry about me cheating- not because of morals but because I won't inflict my stretch marks on another man, we both have an extremely dark humour lol**)
* Main man has mostly had office jobs and my sister refuses to shake his hand because of how soft it is, she prefers a man's hand to be rough and calloused from physical labour. It took me two weeks to get the courage to hold his hand again without thinking about that constantly. At one time though MM had a job in a factory and his personality changed drastically! He started swearing like it was a hobby he was trying to go pro with and acting all tough guy-ish. One day I was in our closet picking out an outfit and he was sitting on our bed going on about some altercation at work where he had to be all tough with someone who was trying to get him to do his work. While he was talking I made a big show of grabbing one of my purses from the closet and rooting around in it. When he finally asked what I was looking for in my purse I pretended to pull out something and blew the dust off of it. I said 'sorry, I just wanted to return your balls...sounds like you need them back...'. He laughed so hard he actually fell off the bed...
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